I’ll See Your Bullshit Satan, And I Raise You Maple Syrup

AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhOo ee oo ah ah ting tang wala wala bing bang!

Yeah, it’s been another day with the Cockgobbling Clungemonkey Coach Steve.  Sadly, it was another Circuit #1 today so not only did I hate the entire human race because of thunder twonk over there, but I KNEW he was about to spout that line from last time.  On the plus side, I was able to turn that hatred into a little more, much needed energy.  Also did everything before the heating came on and with the doors open which helped massively.      

Today has been a day.  On the whole, better than yesterday diet-wise, but life wise it’s been a test. I said previously that I comfort eat.  Today the gods have been throwing all sorts at me to see if I’ll break.  £400 paid out because the washing machine exploded. Work being a bit of a tweak of the nipples all day.  I would normally have surrender to the Chinese on a day like this… The take away, not the imprisoners of Tibet… but, again, I’ve fought on. NOT TODAY SATAN!

Two key things have helps with this monumental achievement.  The first was dinner; I’ve been waiting for this all week.  Sticky Maple Pork with White Rice.  Any recipe, and this goes for diet and non-diet food, that starts with “heat the butter and a glug of oil in a pan…” is doing ok in my book.  Add in maple syrup and soy as well as a rice portion FIVE TIMES the size I’ve been allowed previously, and it’s looking REALLY damn good.  Still went for broc though… hey, gotta keep the flatulent standards up.  This meal didn’t disappoint! It was absolutely fan-fucking-tastic and, sat here afterwards, I’m actually quite content.

Lunch was a massive disappointment.  Chicken Stroganoff, a ready meal rather than a kit. So, this is something you keep in the freezer, but unlike the rice pots, they cannot be cooked from frozen.  A bit of a fuck up then as this is day 6 and I have no other alternatives.  So after some tactical use of the defrost function and deft use of my temperature probe, I got an edible, hot meal.  I say edible… Stroganoff is, in it’s striped down form, sautéed meat with mushrooms in a rich buttery/creamy sauce (a good hoof of brandy should also be involved, but I’m omitting this as it’s lunchtime).  Not being a fan of the shroom, I only found the dish palatable fairly recently.  However, the Muscle Food version takes this classic dish and diddles it so hard up the bum, it becomes a shadow of its former self.  If you take the butter and cream away, what you’re left with is meat (chicken) cooked by unknown means (reheated in a microwave though) in a mushroom juice.  I’m not kidding.  Take mushrooms, add to boiling water, allow to brew, boom Muscle Food Stroganoff sauce.  It’s the first meal (not snack) I’ve had that I’ve just had to push away.  Trying to force it down was making me gag so I admitted defeat.

As I said, this is day 6 of the 6-day plan and I had no Muscle Food back up (something remedied by the next order).  I knew it was unlikely that I’d have a high enough protein alternative in the cupboard, so I went searching for something with a comparable calorie and fat content to the tragic strogg.. Thankfully, there was some Coven Garden chicken soup in the fridge that was close enough (20 cal higher, and maybe an extra 0.9g of fat) but, by that point, I needed SOMETHING and this would have to do.  My god it was good. Creamy, flavoursome… normal! Understand, I don’t consider this a failure, this was a necessity.  It was this or I skip lunch, and given me previous posts about light-headedness, fuck that!

The other thing that helped today was a complete accident. I trod on the scales.  This is week 1, tomorrow is my day off (sooooooo looking forward to that) and I’m not due to weigh myself till Sunday morning, but I’ve been on this for a week… I didn’t expect much. And the numbers had only changed a little… then I realised I had the scales set to KG still and did some maths… I checked both my girth and my maths a number of times.  It was right. I’m not going to tell you the numbers, you can wait till Sunday for that – I won’t go jinxing anything and I’ve got a cheat day between now and then – but I actually saw a reason to continue doing this.

Finally, I just wanted to say something to the few people that have messaged me in the last 24 hours – Thank you – I love you more than I can explain! Not only was it somewhat of a welfare check after being in a funk yesterday, but there were also compliments on my insane ramblings here.  Never, ever underestimate the power of a kind word, even if you don’t see the impact is has, that kindness can change someone’s world.